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maks romanov (maksromanov2020) on November 5, 2021
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How to Become a More Positive Parent

Stay positive about safety. Provide your child with clear safety rules for all occasions, as well as explain the reasons why these rules are so important, and always speak in a positive way. For example: "please go" instead of "don't run!"

Listen and react (answer). Use responsive language. If your child does or says something that you disagree with, talk to him (directing him in the right direction) gently and respectfully, rather than in a tone of accusatory accusation. If it concerns study and you see that he does not succeed, then use it which will very qualitatively help to tune your child to the right wave. Listen carefully and explain why you want him to follow your rule. The verbal guidance may be something like: "You need to get to the bus, staying safe, and for this it is important not to fall."

Set a good example.When you want to illustrate how your child should act in a particular situation, explain why you are doing exactly what you are doing. Explain why it is important to learn and with help show an example of how to do it. Providing clarification is very helpful in teaching patience and social skills and helps children connect feelings with words in their minds. You might want to give your child the following example of reflections: “It’s really hard for me to wait for my turn to go on a swing. I would rush there right now, but I will wait until that girl rolls over and gets up. "

Reinforce positive behavior.Teaching new behavior? Be sure to reinforce the achieved results every time the child is able to behave exactly as you wanted. If you see that the child has begun to study well and praise your child well in this. Praise him directly immediately and then again after a while, such as smiling, patting the shoulder, shaking hands, or doing some special activity, will make all the difference to him.

Give meaningful compliments.Your praise should be specific, descriptive, and understandable. Instead of saying “great,” say, “How wonderful that you remembered that you had to clean your room before playing with the dolls.” This meaningful response will fuel the child's self-confidence. Instead of emphasizing the final result ("what a beautiful picture"), focus your attention on the process ("you can see that you put a lot of work and effort into your drawing, you were especially effective in using blue paint").

Ignore bad but “benign” behavior.Scolding your child when they misbehave can fuel their need for attention. If you do not sharpen your attention, but simply ignore some not very serious, albeit annoying behavior, your child, most likely, will not want to repeat it again. Observe the difference in the effect of whether you praise your child for good behavior or reproach for bad behavior! It is important that this rule only applies to non-destructive, non-hazardous behavior, since aggressive and harmful behavior and behavior should never be ignored.

Provide options.To promote self-reliance, give your child a choice between two options. If you ask him to help you clean the house, your request may provoke an argument. Therefore, it is better to give him a choice of several types of work, saying the following: “It's time to clean the house. Do you want to put away your plates or your toys? " This approach will allow your little one to feel respect for themselves.

Switch your child to an acceptable alternative.If your child is misbehaving, distract him from the problematic factor and redirect him to another activity. Instead of scolding, provide alternatives that the child can successfully complete: “Daughter, it’s not safe to pull on the bottommost box in the stack. Please help me choose pretty apples for tonight's pie. ”

Contribute to problem solving. Promote critical thinking and difficult situations. As you work with the problem, guide your child through five consecutive steps using the following questions:

  • What is the problem?
  • What can you do?
  • What can happen if ...?
  • Choose a solution and use it.
  • Look, did it work?

Connect actions and their consequences. Help your child understand the causal relationship between behavior and its consequences. This will help him repeat the desired behavior ("You didn't wash your hands before lunch. Please go to the bathroom and wash them"), do something good after the bad ("Son, if we draw in a book, other children will no longer be able to use it ; please erase your marks ") and understand that for a certain offense, privileges can be revoked (" I remind you that you should not, sitting at the drawing table, splash water at other children. Today you will play separately from them. " ).

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