Whatever, However, and Forever

Whatever, However, and Forever

A personal essay on Ham Radio, Contesting, and Inspiration

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PROLOGUE:� Nobody reads anymore.� Everyone wants instant gratification.� Everyone�s on the Internet, looking at little pictures.� Advertising and hype rule our lives.� Everyone�s a cynic.���

�Like a lot of us, in today�s troublesome and terrific times, I�ve been following the �threads� on various reflectors about the state of contesting today�about what inspires us, about what we need, and need to do.� The topics are ones I�ve thought about a lot.� Indeed, inspiration is a �big deal� in my life, in my work, and has been for as long as I can remember.� It�s something I learned long ago was central to my psyche.� Being creative is something I do.� (I work in film/video as a Director of Photography.)� I enjoy doing something new and different.� And part of that was to become a ham�38 years ago�because it was different, something no other 14-year olds in my school were doing.�

�Of course, once I got the license, I wanted to get on the air, and be like everyone else.� However, my new ticket came during the Novice Roundup�a contest dedicated to the newly licensed Novice-class operators.� All I heard was �CQ NR� and I wondered why no one would talk to me.� This all happened at the blazing speed of 5 WPM, with a crystal controlled AT-1 (probably 25/30 watts output) into a random long wire strung between the house and barn.� Oh boy, huh?� No wonder WN8HJW wasn�t burning up the bands.�� Contests aside, he persevered, became like many others.� RST, QTH, name and QSL-sure QSOs filled up the log pages, as regular as after-school chores and homework and budget would allow.� Surely there had to be something else?� Some way to be �different?�

�Time passed.� Upgrades to license and station occurred.� Sometimes, the old �CQ TEST� calls, heard over and over, caught my attention.� Somewhere, the idea behind what some of the louder callsigns were actually doing passed into my consciousness.� Some of THEM were different, that�s for sure.� They were fast.� They were obviously having fun (why keep going, why keep coming back otherwise?).� They were operating in ways I could only imagine.� Ahhh, radio and the life of the mind merged�how could I (little old Ohio farm boy with limited resources) do that?

�Fast forward.� More time passed.� Upgrades to license and education occurred.� Somewhere, the idea of actually becoming one of the louder callsigns passed into my consciousness.� But the realities of life intrude, and radio takes a backseat for a while.�� Benched, red-shirted, down, but not out, merely idling.�

�More time passes.� One day, the ham radio idea gets dusted off.� The quarterly CD Party is on, and WA8MAZ hops into the fray with a borrowed HW-16/HG-10 and a 500-ft wire on 80/40 and a bamboo ground-plane on 15M.� Seemingly all of a sudden, he�s Search & Pouncing at 60-70 QSOs/hour.� How can this be?� Ahhh, the life of the mind and the ability to copy code, log with one hand while operating the radio with the other have more-than-merged.� They�ve become part of my being.� And besides, this stuff is FUN!� The focus, the concentration, the intensity�wow, what a rush (okay, so it�s the 70s)!

�Time continues to pass.� The process of accumulation begins.� This is an awkward phase.� Difficult to explain to a young wife.� Piles of �junk� are stacked up in rented storage sheds and under tarps next to apartments.�

�Upgrades to equipment continue.� New avenues, new activities, start to happen; DXing, for instance, takes hold.� It�s at this point in life that the �reality� behind the concept of mentors or heroes also takes hold.� Probably because I�m out of school, working for a living, but still thinking like a student.� Vic Clark, W4KFC, PVRC perennial contest winner, and a long-time rat-a-tat-tat CW maven describes DXing as �a contest for very slow operators�.�� Hmmm, I�d better think about that, because Vic�s obviously someone I trust and admire.� In fact, this whole club thing�like this Potomac Valley Radio Club out of Washington, DC/Maryland�is worth some attention.� Who ARE these guys, anyway, as Butch and Sundance wanted to know?�

�Life goes on.� As they say, it�s what happens while you�re waiting for time to pass.� Young wife departs.� Junk piles get moved across the country, as work�s tugs and pulls take me from the Midwest to further West, then back East and finally down South.� Books, and movies, and ham radio and the life of the mind.

�One day you wake up in the sunny South.� You take stock of your life.� Really evaluate yourself.� Shuddering, you think about all that�s happened, really happened, and what you have to show for yourself.� What you�d say if you had to �stand and deliver� at the heavenly gates all of a sudden.� Hmmm, better not to think like this, because it�s depressing.� Well, maybe, maybe not, depending on one�s point of view, the weather, and where the stars are in the night sky.� Right?

Right!� Time and circumstance happen to us all, and really, I haven�t done so badly.� Where�s that list I made in high school, after all?� Let�s see�surely I�ve accomplished some of what�s on there by now?�

�Well, a little self-evaluation never hurt anyone.� Hasn�t living the life of the mind taught you anything?� Time to remember my favorite H. Allen Smith line:� �The optimist believes this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is so�.��� I remind myself to savor this quote.� And what it really means.

�The process of integrating ham radio into that life begins in earnest.� What you need is a station.� You realize you have the role models.� You know many of them, now, as friends�having stood next to them at Dayton for hours on end, listening, chatting, learning and remembering.��� You know many of them because of five years actually spent in that same PVRC you idolized as a boy, while working at the University of Maryland.� You know many of them, from QSOs and e-mails and letters, and you know they�re mortal, just like you.�

�And there�s the rub, as you learned from Hamlet.� Indeed, you find (uh-oh, it�s potential mid-life crisis time) you�ve become obsessed with the concept of �best of all possible worlds� in ham radio terms.� You WANT that station, you WANT that contesting buzz, you WANT to have fun more than anything else.� Okay, balancing that fun with the rest of life, including my wife and work (not that you�re not fun, honey, really!).� Well, guess what?� That�s not that bad.� So did all those boyhood heroes!� So, too, do many of your friends.� And so on, and so on, and so on.� It�s not that new an idea, after all. �It�s not really original.� But it�s one worth pursuing.

�So that�s what inspiration is, after all?� The pursuit of something?� And the answer is �yes, yes, yesssssssss!� as Molly Bloom exclaimed.� The answer�s been right in front of you all this time�the answer to why we (we�re all in this together!) contest types soldier on so valiantly.� We want to be like our mentors or heroes or role models.� We want to be good.��� We want to have fun.� We want to enjoy every single second of those high-speed exchanges.� We want to be loud (apologies to N2AA, whose tee shirt exclaims this, a la Molly Bloom).� We want to be different, yet we all want to be the same.� Zen and the Art of Ham Radio Contesting�that�s what we�re talking here!

�That�s what the pictures and the stories in the magazines and the late night hospitality suite conversations are for�to inspire us.� To keep the imagination�s fire stoked and hot.� To keep the engine running.�� Just ask ZD8Z�he�ll tell you.� Hey, ask any 50-year-old who�s ever stood there at two o�clock in the morning in Dayton, talking and learning something from K1VR or W2GD or K3ZO or anyone else.� That�s what the accumulation, of ideas, suggestions, dreams and vision, to say nothing of aluminum and tower parts, have been for all these years.� You get the idea�this stuff�s important!

�Not everyone will (nor can or should they) agree with these words.� Not everyone will aspire to such things.� What�s 40 WPM worth these days?� What�s being loud got to do with world peace?� How am I ever gonna get to Dayton, anyhow?� What�s knowing what zone Lesotho�s in (it�s 38) going to do for your kids� dental bills?� What�s having stacks on one or two or even four bands got to do with anything�other than contesting and ham radio, anyhow?�

�The answer is nothing, not much, zip, nada, and whatever.� I don�t care.� It�s something that keeps me going.� Keeps me �young� for want of a better term, even though chronologically I seem to be getting older.� (What�s with this white beard, anyhow?)� It keeps my mind alive.� It keeps me thinking and imagining, growing and learning.� And that�s important to me.�

�The truth, as Chris Carter says, is �out there.�� And it is.� Keep on contesting.� Forever�.

�--K4ZA

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